Open Up And Say…
What is 'no'? Either you have asked the wrong question or you have asked the wrong person. Find a way to get the 'yes'.
Jeanette Winterson (author)
“I shouldn’t have to tell you, you should just know!”
Have you ever made this statement? I certainly have and find myself saying it more than I’d like to admit.
I recently had an interesting situation in my personal life. The details aren’t really important for the story but what I will share is that I wanted something to happen which, week after week, just didn't happen. And week after week, my annoyance grew because I felt like the people around me should have just known what I needed. I’m not sure what got into me one day but I finally got fed up and something in me told me to speak up and just say what I needed to say...unfiltered with no concern for how people would react. After all, what’s the worst that would happen? Either nothing would happen, which wouldn’t leave me in any worse position than I was already in or someone would react, either in a positive or negative manner, and then at least a dialogue could begin. No one could claim they didn’t know.
This rule applies at work and with personal relationships although your style of communication should probably depending on your audience. Obviously the way you ask your husband to fold the clothes in the special way you like is very different than how you ask your manager for a raise.
If you’re the kind of person that ruminates and tends to wait hoping that people will “just know,” it’s probably time to stop that practice if you find it’s not serving you well. I’ve learned that most people aren’t intentionally trying to ignore you or come short of your expectations, they’re just focused on themselves...and not you. Sitting around waiting for a personal spokesperson usually doesn't end well.
Rather than grudgingly tolerating a situation you don’t like, speak up! Flex that bravery muscle and make what you want known to the people that can help make it happen.
You’ll most likely feel lighter as you carry one less “what if” on your shoulders.
Aji